Mom fatigue is a struggle many of us know all too well. The constant tiredness in motherhood, even years after giving birth, can feel overwhelming. In this article, we’ll dive into why this happens and explore various factors, including postnatal depletion as a potential cause. As a Holistic Postpartum and Matrescence Therapist with over a decade of experience supporting women, and many through their motherhood journeys—and a mother myself—I get it. I get how tiresome motherhood is. We’ll uncover why you feel this way, what it means for your well-being, and most importantly, how you can start feeling better.

Why Are Moms So Tired?

Early Postpartum

In the early postpartum days, the exhaustion hits hard. Between sleepless nights, constant feedings, and the physical recovery from childbirth, it’s no wonder new moms feel like they’re running on empty. Your body is healing, your hormones are all over the place, and you’re learning to care for a tiny human who depends on you for everything.

The relentless cycle of diaper changes, feeding, and taking care of so many things, leave little room for rest, making fatigue a constant companion. Mom fatigue is common during this stage, and many people will tell you to expect being this tired.

Later Postpartum

Just when you think you’ve survived the toughest part, the tiredness lingers.

Leaving you questioning, wtf am I still this tired?

Even after the initial postpartum period, many moms find themselves battling ongoing fatigue. Your body and brain are still adjusting to the changes that come with becoming a mother.

This phase, the adjustment and mother-becoming, is also part of Matrescence—the developmental stage (also, think: rites of passage and life transition) of becoming a mother.

The postpartum period, which you’re told is the first 12 months, involves significant physical and hormonal changes as your body tries to return to its pre-pregnancy state. Hormones are shifting, your organs are settling back into place, and your energy levels are often at an all-time low.

Motherhood Struggles

As you progress in your motherhood journey, the challenges can continue and contribute to fatigue.

The mental load of keeping track of everyone’s schedules, needs, and well-being is exhausting. (Sheesh, motherhood sounds terrible when I put it like this. I promise it has its moments of bliss too…lol). You might be juggling a career, managing a household, and striving to maintain some semblance of a personal life—all while trying to be the best mom you can be.

Like many of the moms that I work with, who are high-achievers, the perfectionism, and the pressure to live up to unrealistic expectations can leave you feeling drained and overwhelmed.

I remember it was at this point I thought, this is a different kind of tired. I don’t ever recall feeling this tired in my life, even with several jobs, and being in school full-time.

Balancing work, home, and family life takes its toll, especially when societal pressures push you to be a supermom who does it all without missing a beat (that part, is unrealistic— full stop.)

What If There Is Something to Explain the Mom Fatigue?

While all of the above stands true, you’re still left wondering why you’re feeling constant tiredness.

What if there’s an underlying reason for this relentless exhaustion? Enter “Postnatal Depletion”—a condition introduced by Dr. Oscar Serrallach.

Dr. Serrallach, a family practitioner in Australia, noticed that many of the women in his practice were struggling with persistent fatigue, brain fog, and a general sense of being unwell long after the typical postpartum period. So he set out to figure this out, and is now the leading expert on Postnatal Depletion.

Dr. Serrallach explores this in depth in his book, The Postnatal Depletion Cure. He explains that postnatal depletion is a condition that affects mothers due to the physical, emotional, and mental toll of pregnancy, childbirth, and the demands of early motherhood.

Postnatal depletion can manifest as extreme tiredness, difficulty concentrating, mood swings, and a difficulty coping with stress, among other symptoms. It’s not just about the lack of sleep or the busy schedule—there’s a deeper, more insidious cause at play. This condition can persist for years if not addressed, making it a significant factor in the ongoing mom fatigue and constant tiredness in motherhood many moms experience.

I wanted to share this with you because understanding postnatal depletion offers a different perspective on mom fatigue. Sometimes, we brush off so much in motherhood as normal when the truth is some things, while common, aren’t necessarily normal.

The exhaustion you’re feeling isn’t just a normal part of motherhood—it’s a signal that your body and mind need support. By recognizing this, we can start to explore ways to recover and regain our energy, well-being, and sense of self.

What is Postnatal Depletion?

Postnatal Depletion Explained

Postnatal depletion is a condition, Dr. Serrallach calls it a syndrome, that as many as 50% of moms experience but few recognize by name because we just don’t talk about it enough.

In simple terms, it’s a state of ongoing physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion that occurs after childbirth. This depletion is due to the immense energy and nutrient demands of pregnancy, childbirth, and the ongoing demands of motherhood that leave you feeling, well… depleted.

How It Affects Your Health

• Physical Health: Postnatal depletion can leave you feeling constantly tired, weak, and more susceptible to illnesses. Your body might feel like it’s running on empty, with lingering aches and pains.
• Mental Health: Mentally, you might experience brain fog, difficulty concentrating, and memory issues. It’s like your brain is perpetually foggy, making even simple tasks feel overwhelming.
• Emotional Health: Emotionally, postnatal depletion can lead to mood swings, irritability, and a feeling of being constantly overwhelmed and on edge. You might find yourself on an emotional rollercoaster, struggling to find balance and peace.

Symptoms and Causes of Postnatal Depletion

Common Symptoms of Postnatal Depletion

Postnatal depletion can show up in various ways, making it hard to pinpoint. Here are some common symptoms:

• Chronic Fatigue: Feeling tired all the time, no matter how much rest you get.
• Brain Fog: Struggling to concentrate, remember things, or make decisions.
• Mood Swings: Experiencing sudden changes in mood, like being anxiousness and hypervigilance.
• Mentally + Emotionally: Feelings of guilt, shame and low self esteem. Apprehension about socializing and leaving the house, and then frustration, overwhelm, and a sense of not coping well.
• Sleep Issues: Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, or sleeping unintentionally. Sometimes also tired upon waking.
• Low Libido: Low desire and drive for sex and intimacy.

Factors Contributing to Postnatal Depletion

Several factors can lead to postnatal depletion, compounding the challenges of motherhood:

• Poor Nutrition: Pregnancy and breastfeeding drain your body of essential nutrients. If you’re not replenishing them, it can lead to depletion.
• Hormone Changes: The hormonal shifts after childbirth can affect your mood, energy levels, and overall well-being.
• Life Changes: The transition to motherhood brings significant life changes, adding stress and new responsibilities.
• Lack of Sleep: The constant demands of a newborn can disrupt your sleep, leaving you chronically exhausted.
• Societal Pressure: The pressure to be a “supermom” who can do it all without breaking a sweat adds to the stress and fatigue.

Does any of the above sound familiar to you?

Recognizing these symptoms and understanding the factors that contribute to postnatal depletion is crucial. It’s not just about being tired—it’s about understanding why you’re feeling this way and knowing that there are real, tangible reasons behind it.

It’s Not Normal to Feel this Level of Mom Fatigue

So here’s what gets me going about motherhood. We are constantly told some things are normal when they are not. Things can be common, but not necessarily normal.

It’s important to recognize that extreme tiredness isn’t just a normal part of motherhood. Despite what people might tell you, constant exhaustion shouldn’t be accepted as the status quo.

Many moms are told to just “push through” or that feeling drained is just part of the job. But it doesn’t have to be this way. In my work with clients, I focus on pushing back against this notion, helping mothers see that they deserve to feel energized and well.

Postnatal depletion is more common than you might think. Many mothers experience it, but few recognize it by name. They chalk up their fatigue to the endless demands of motherhood without realizing there’s a specific condition that explains why they feel this way.

Understanding that postnatal depletion is a real and widespread issue can be empowering. It validates your experience and encourages you to seek the support and solutions you need.

By acknowledging that this extreme tiredness isn’t normal, we open the door to better care and well-being for mothers everywhere. You don’t have to accept mom fatigue as a permanent part of your life. There are ways to address it, and recognizing the signs of postnatal depletion is the first step.

Why Don’t We Know About Postnatal Depletion?

Postnatal depletion is often overlooked, misunderstood, and underdiscussed. Many mothers find themselves struggling with extreme fatigue and other symptoms without knowing there’s a name for what they’re experiencing.

But why is this the case?

A significant reason is that much of the discourse around maternal mental health in the US has historically focused on perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) such as postpartum depression and anxiety. This focus is essential and has led to better awareness, prevention, and treatment of these conditions.

However, it means that other aspects of maternal health, like postnatal depletion, haven’t received the same level of attention.

Historically, the conversation about maternal health has centered on the emotional and psychological challenges of motherhood, particularly those that can be clinically diagnosed and treated. While it’s crucial to address PMADs, this focus has often overshadowed the need for a holistic approach to healing and recovery after pregnancy and childbirth.

The physical, mental, and emotional toll of pregnancy and birth can have a lasting impact on a mom’s overall well-being, but this aspect is frequently underrepresented in discussions about maternal health, especially in the mental health industry. The emphasis has been on preventing and treating mood disorders, which is undoubtedly important, but there hasn’t been enough conversation about the need for comprehensive recovery and the long-term effects of motherhood on a woman’s body and mind.

Understanding postnatal depletion and its impact is a step toward filling this gap.

By bringing more awareness to this condition, we can start to shift the narrative towards a more inclusive view of maternal mental health—one that acknowledges the importance of healing and recovery in all its forms. This holistic approach can help moms like you recognize that their fatigue and other symptoms are valid and deserve attention and care.

Postnatal Depletion vs. Postpartum Depression

So while we’re talking about PMADs, let’s talk about the differences here between postnatal depletion and postpartum depression.

Unlike postpartum depression, postnatal depletion isn’t about feeling sad or hopeless. It’s about feeling utterly drained—emotionally, physically, and mentally.

It’s helpful to know the difference between postnatal depletion and postpartum depression, as they are two different conditions:

• Postnatal Depletion: This condition is characterized by extreme fatigue, brain fog, and a general sense of being worn out. It’s about the depletion of physical and mental resources and can persist for years if not addressed. Mothers with postnatal depletion often feel physically, mentally, and emotionally drained but might not necessarily feel depressed.
• Postpartum Depression: On the other hand, postpartum depression might include some characteristics of postnatal depletion, however, it involves persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed. It’s a serious mental health condition that requires medical intervention.

Understanding the difference between these two conditions is important for finding the right path to recovery. If you’re experiencing symptoms of postpartum depression, it’s important you reach out to a professional for support.

What You Can Do to Recover from Mom Fatigue Due to Postnatal Depletion

Dr. Serrallach’s Recommendations

Dr. Oscar Serrallach, who introduced the concept of postnatal depletion, offers several strategies to help moms recover and regain their energy. His recommendations focus on addressing the physical, mental, and emotional toll that motherhood can take.

So I’ve taken the time to combine some of his suggestions with some of mine based on my own experience, and that of my clients.

1. Balanced Diet and Key Nutrients

Maintaining a balanced diet is crucial for recovery and combating mom fatigue. You’ll have to replenish the nutrients that pregnancy and childbirth deplete. Key nutrients include:

• Iron: To combat fatigue and boost energy levels.
• Zinc: Essential for immune function and healing.
• Vitamin B12 and Folate: Vital for energy production and mental clarity.
• Omega-3 Fatty Acids: Important for brain health and reducing inflammation.
• Magnesium: Helps with muscle relaxation and reducing stress.

Incorporate nutrient-rich foods like leafy greens, lean proteins, whole grains, nuts, and seeds into your diet. If necessary, consider taking supplements to ensure you’re getting the right balance.

2. Improving Sleep Quality and Finding Rest

Quality sleep is essential for recovery, I like to think of it as the holy grail of wellness, but it can be challenging for new moms. Here are some strategies to improve sleep:

• Create a Relaxing Bedtime Routine: Establish calming activities before bed, like reading or taking a warm bath.
• Sleep When Your Baby Sleeps: This tip used to infuriate me, but over time, I have come to reframe it. If you’re to-do list is long, and the baby, or even your toddler, is napping and you find yourself snoozing, chuck that to-do list. If you had to choose between the sink full of dishes and sleep, I’m telling you to pick sleep every single time.
• Limit Screen Time: Avoid screens an hour before bed to improve sleep quality. Swap out your evening me-time scroll for a calming book.
• Ask for Help: Don’t hesitate to ask your partner, family, or friends for help with nighttime feedings, chores, or baby care so you can sleep.

3. Managing Stress and Improving Mental Well-Being

Managing stress is crucial for both mental and physical health. Techniques to help include:

• Mindfulness and Meditation: Practice mindfulness exercises or meditation to stay present and reduce anxiety.
• Exercise: Engage in gentle physical activities like walking, yoga, or stretching to boost mood and energy levels.
• Bodywork: Practices like acupuncture and trigger-release massages are amazing for releasing the tension and stuck energy you’re body is dealing with.
• Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings to process emotions and relieve stress.

4. Building a Support Network

Having a strong support network is vital for recovery. Surround yourself with people who can offer help and understanding:

• Seek Professional Help: Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in postpartum care and knows a thing or two about postnatal depletion.
• Join Support Groups: Find local or online support groups where you can connect with other moms experiencing similar challenges. Postpartum Support International has some great groups, and affinity ones too.
• Communicate with Loved Ones: Be open with your partner, family, and friends about your needs and how they can support you.

Recovering from postnatal depletion takes time and effort, but by focusing on these key areas, you can start to regain your energy and well-being. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help and prioritize your health. You deserve to feel strong and supported as you navigate motherhood.

FAQs and Mom Fatigue and Postnatal Depletion

Does Postnatal Depletion cause Postpartum Depression?

Postnatal depletion does not directly cause postpartum depression, but the chronic fatigue and stress it causes can contribute to mood changes. The longer we leave things unaddressed, the worse it can get. Recognizing and addressing postnatal depletion can help improve your overall mental health and reduce the risk of developing depression, or another PMAD disorder.

How can I tell if I’m struggling with postnatal depletion?

You might be struggling with postnatal depletion if you experience persistent fatigue, brain fog, mood swings, and a general sense of being worn out. These symptoms can last for years after childbirth, indicating that your body and mind need more recovery time and support. So don’t only look for it in those early months of postpartum. Many of Dr. Serrallach’s patients are years into motherhood and struggle with postnatal depletion.

What can I eat to prevent postnatal depletion?

To prevent postnatal depletion, eat a balanced diet rich in iron, zinc, vitamin B12, folate, omega-3 fatty acids, and magnesium. Include leafy greens, lean proteins, whole grains, nuts, and seeds in your meals to replenish essential nutrients and support your overall health. Don’t go hard here trying to get it perfect. Start making small changes in increments. If nutrition feels difficult to start with, I would encourage you to start tackling sleep first instead.

Does my postnatal depletion affect my child?

Postnatal depletion can affect your ability to care for and bond with your child, as chronic fatigue and stress may limit your energy and patience. Addressing postnatal depletion helps improve your well-being, enabling you to be more present and engaged with your child.

Can I still experience postnatal depletion if I’m not breastfeeding?

Yes, you can still experience postnatal depletion even if you’re not breastfeeding. The physical, mental, and emotional demands of pregnancy, childbirth, and early motherhood contribute to postnatal depletion regardless of whether you breastfeed.

Conclusion

Understanding mom fatigue is so important in recognizing that extreme tiredness isn’t just a normal part of motherhood.

Postnatal depletion, a hidden cause of this fatigue, can significantly impact your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

By learning about postnatal depletion, its symptoms, and causes, you can start taking steps to recover and regain your energy. Remember, it’s not about pushing through—it’s about addressing the underlying issues and finding support.

If you’re feeling lost in motherhood and constantly tired, you’re not alone. Do your own research on postnatal depletion and talk to your professional providers about it. You’ll never know the difference it can make unless you make the first move.

Want to figure out what’s making you feel lost in motherhood? Take this motherhood quiz to learn more about your experience and receive the support you need. Click here to take the quiz and start your journey towards feeling better.

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